Frell Me Dead

Why the frak am I subjecting myself to this dren? What dren you say? Desperate Scousewives! I just spent the previous hour watching Playing it Straight! Sweet Minty Baby Jebus, why?! And the really sad thing – I have saved next week’s PiS on my EPG. Amazing how everyone’s* forehead in DS has no reaction whatsoever, no movement, no veins, no nada. Plus the war paint…wow! Who needs bulletproof vests/glasses/cars, just get some diamonds and peel off their skin and you’re golden. Pyschic chic?! What?! Stop blogging now!

 

*correction: One dude’s forehead actually works.

I can feel my IQ points lowering by the nanosecond. Oh, lookie there’s bits of brain dripping out my ears

And I Just Know We’ll Have a Good Time…

Two posts in a day…wow, maybe this one will make more sense. Since, I’ve been receiving a lot of promo singles in my Yahoo! I’ve decided to post them. But, since I’m too lazy to actually be bothered I’ll leave with my new favourite YouTubers, VanJess. Apparently, they went on The X Factor (US), they didn’t get past the first stage.

 

 

 

… yeah. That’s Janet Jackson’s Runaway, oh you nasty noobs.

Quote of the Week

Was minding my own buisness watching Justice League – my holiday has so far consisted of driving lessons, trying to book a practical test before my theory test expires, watching Buffy, Angel, Doctor Who Pinky & the Brain, Batman Beyond, a lot of other random shows and **cough**-ing a lot of tv serials. NB: This is what happens when you have a 2TB HDD & gigabit internet, you kinda go nuts.

Anyhoo, I came across a rather interesting comment on the Black Panther board on imbd.

If I need a hero, I’d gladly be saved by a morbidly obese gay pierced tattooed transvestite albino HIV-positive vomiting Jewish pot-smoking fecal-porn-loving midget … I don’t care who you are if you’re saving my life! JEEEZE!

And no offense to the groups I named in my example. I simply tried to pick downtrodden groups to make my example.

Here’s the rest of the board, if you’re that interested.

I really need a life & some chocolate…

Ali…the Randy Taxi Driver

I just realised that Ali, the RTD’s phone number was lost during the migration. Poor Ali & his dumb ass, I might just….nah.

EDIT: Found it, apparently it wasn’t lost since it was still in my original post. As you can see, this post was pointless. And the number is…07974156808

Mmm…malteaster bunnies…Sexy malteaster bunnies.

Oh & one more thing…

…someone goofed. I had to save it…Yes, I need help.

Now I need to get some work done, that doesn’t involve licking chocolate spread. Mum, if you’re reading this…stop laughing & don’t tease…please…

What the hell is a Stewie Rah Rah?!

Sounds like a bad cheerleader associated wedgie, or that the apparent billionaire obsession with Lady GaGa…or…err…cheerleading….maybe he likes cheerleaders or was a cheerleader or just likes to cheer or doesn’t exist…

Anyhoo…remember the whole flop that was Alicia Keys’ Digital Death (Dec. 1) campaign for Keep A Child Alive? Well, it’s now over because the aforementioned alleged cheerleader* went all white knight. After the gaffs that Alicia Keys, Swizz Beatz, Usher and two Ks from the Kardashian dynasty of greatness, the Ks being Kim & Khloe…pulled – they resurrected early before schedule, with Usher holding the great honour of doing it mere hours before their salvation & completely blocking it out. I wonder who snuggled up to the cheerleader** or whose brilliant idea it was to cough up the money, then credit a non-existent…err…cheerleader**.

Next time tell your narcissism, arrogance and ego to take a rain check and not to add a $10 minimum. Charity begins at home and not in your PR’s office. Just because you have twitter fans & tweet gems about you being sleepy or hardly ever tweet (Kim & Justin Timberlake respectively) doesn’t mean we hang on your every word. You might be a celebrity, but always remember…it was your fans, who made you, those concerts, singles, albums, merchandise, yada yada yada don’t pay themselves. Now go eat some humble pie…or some air.

*I said alleged, I need to cover my non-billionaire ass.

**Now, it’s getting kinda boring.

UPDATE: Stewart Rahr is a **breathes** pharmaceutical **phew** billionaire. I still like my cheerleader*** angle…

***Now it’s officially DEAD

Who knows, maybe I’ll finally join Twitter…nah…with the random non-PC & damn right terrible things I spew on a daily basis, I would be sued, fined and convicted in no time. I’d be the Ian Hislop of Twitter, tweeting all my comments with every variant of allege.

Glitch-errific aka Quote of the Week

Was minding my own business shouting at EA for my latest glitch discovery – can’t play international matches in Be A Pro – on FIFA 10 & searching for the solution. I found out that it was my fault because I changed my VP from Nigerian to English – the ass wipes don’t have the Nigerian team, even though they had it on 08. So my only real solution is to delete. Anyhoo, I came across this quote by albertasaurus on the official EA forum.

This is the internet; where all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

You’ve got to give it to the fella, he turned his name to a dinosaur…he knows the answer to universe is not 42.

Quote of the Week

I can’t wait for the passionate queens of YouTube to regurgitate this inside the plush comforts of their living rooms and two car garages! That is all for now.

Freshalina of Crunk & Disorderly on Willow Smith’s Whip My Hair.

I still believe the thing on her head is The Alien from Alien…no matter how heart shaped it is.

…facing the dodo’s conundrum

That darn psychology experiment. I had to listen to the same 6 songs for six 30 minute sessions. I took a shining to 2 of them & of new the lyrics to all the songs by my third session. I had never heard any of the songs or their respective artists previously, but I’m kinda glad cause I now have more random people to listen to. One of these days I’ll not listen to music, while I blog…Anyhoo, the 6 songs were:

• Australia – The Shins. Yes, that’s where the title came from. This song’s my new baby, I always play it after Frightened Rabbit’s "Keep Yourself Warm". They just go together. They don’t mention Australia, not even a kangaroo. I finally watched Garden Party & the minute Natalie Portman’s character recommended The Shins, I yelled "I know who they are!"
• The Boys are too Refined – The Hush Sound. With the killer piano, I had to love it. Plus, the bit in the chorus where the guy goes wooah, always makes me laugh, actually the random dude’s bits are my second fave. The odd bit is I haven’t really listened to it much on my iPod.
• Gonna Make You Love Me More – Ryan Adams. Love the music, with the guitars, while the lyrics kinda scare me. That "I’ll come to you like a little girl" line really scares me.
• One Week of Danger – The Virgins. It’s catchy, even though I tried to hate it. Plus, it sounds kinda familiar, I keep thinking Orson’s "No Tomorrow" & some other random dance songs.
• Mixin’ Up Adjectives – Musically yeah, if not predictable, lyrically I…dislike it, especially "the mixing up adjectives like jealous & sweet".
• Didi (My Doe Part 2) – The Matches. Another song that musically sounded like another song. Every single time he stuttered, I wanted to kill him.

Since my team & back up team are effing up at the World Cup, I’ve decided to restart my Manager Mode on Fifa 08 (damn Xbox & their stupid ways, the whole making a new profile for Live, lost all my good stuff, what’s the point if you can’t brag to the world…Now, if I could just log back on). I’ve been reintroduced to the randomness that is its playlist. Sweet…Maxïmo Park, k-os, Santogold (now Santigold), Travis, Noisettes, The Automatic, The Hours, Robyn, Tigarah, The Hoosiers etc…I don tire, yes I like to pay attention to who I’m listening to. Oh well, off to eat.

Now, we’ve got Wimbledon, I can’t leave my telly on before I sleep on BBC1 or BBC2 cause when I finally wake up, I’m forced to watch it…till I find my remote….take the painkiller, cycle on your bicycle, leave all this misery behind. Darn it Emma, I still listen to it (Painkiller – Turin Brakes), infact I AM listening to it right now.

You know something’s wrong…

…when a Twilight reject, complete with a big ass padlock as a pendent, is giving you a quizzical look for wearing a light cardigan & a beanie at 8pm. It’s kinda chilly & it’s laundry day.
…when Kaita turned a not so bookable offence into a very bookable offence, then "turned into the incredible hulk" (the commentator’s exact words), covering his dumbass face as we walked out of the pitch.
…when you mess up your right ankle, right in front of your local church. I think it’s God’s way of showing He loves me and/or gently reminding me to go to church on Sunday…or else…
…when said mess up occurs exactly 5 minutes after the second half to Greece’s first ever win in World Cup history began, you know your country’s gonna lose.
…when England fans, with all their overzealous and sometimes pretentious support, boo their own team…And then one of them actually breaks into their locker room….And the FA makes an official & rather furious complaint to FIFA.
…when Blatter actually does something right and defends the vuvuzelas…You kiddies, should shut up with the complaints, they are doing you a favour, by distracting you from team’s crappiness.
…that I still find this funny.
…that I really like these shoes…I still won’t be caught dead wearing them.
…when you consistently smell of onions. Damn my love of the stuff.
…when your opening World Cup match falls on June 12. With all the connections to that bastard Babaginda & the canceled elections. RIP Abiola.
…when you don’t want to hear your National anthem, cause it kinda sucks, when presented on a global scale.
…when the Man of the Match is the keeper from the losing team. Kudos to Vincent Enyeama who did it twice, shame about that fumble, but we forgive you.
…when you can blame one person for causing you the World Cup. Now, I finally understand why you guys wanted to kill Becks for that red card, those many years ago.
…when Rory comes back…all plasticky & the true purpose of the Pandorica.

Remember don’t Kaita you life.