What is This Feeling?

It finally happened, I’ve finally seen Wicked! Oh my, it’s been a month since I saw it at the Apollo Victoria Theatre, and all you’re getting is this blog, two pictures of the stage and a picture of the programme.

Dragon

I still don’t know why it’s there, but it looked cool.

 

I got most of the current cast, with the exception of Savannah Stevenson, her standby Sophie Linder-Lee was used. Emma Hatton was brilliant as Elphaba, the green skinned underdog – honey I kept rolling my eyes with you. Her acting and singing were on point, you felt her hope when she was singing about meeting & working with the Wizard in ‘The Wizard & I’, of course you also felt the irony and foreshadowing since we’ve just seen the previous scene with Glinda & the Ozians with ‘No One Mourns the Wicked’. You felt her despair with the powerhouse that is ‘No Good Deed’, I was left in awe with her voice and the awesomeness in the theatre visual effects that was ‘Defying Gravity’, when Elphaba becomes one with the background, her newly acquired broom, the lights, the smoke machine and the wind; I was left amazed and gobsmacked. It was a stunning way to end act one.

Sorry these are all the pictures you'll get of the set. Cameras were not allowed during the performance. Plus, I can't do subtle.

Sorry these are all the pictures you’ll get of the set. Cameras were not allowed during the performance. Plus, I can’t do subtle. I could have tried harder, but nah…

Sophie Linder-Lee was brilliant as Glinda (formerly known as Galinda), her “toss, toss” will forever be stuck in my brain for all eternity. Glinda is that OTT Miss Goody Two Shoes, who might not be as good as you think, plus you might want to punch her. Sophie conveyed that well, she might not have over-exagerrated her performance as the other actresses have done, but it was enough for me. The song ‘What is This Feeling?’ has grown to become my favourite song from this musical, Glinda with her hard to describe description of Elphaba and Elphaba’s deadpan “blonde” is a certified crowd pleaser. The audience and I cracked up at it and every video I’ve seen, the audience always have the same reaction.

The rest of the cast were fantastic, I now understand the fascinationall Wicked fans have with “Fiyero pants”, those were highly tight and very distracting especially during ‘Dancing Through Life’, sorry Jeremy Taylor, but I’m a mere mortal – I couldn’t help myself. Shout out to the Flying Monkeys with their acrobatics and general climbing on the gears. To the fantastic crew, who built the sets, the costumes, the prosthetics and the stunning visuals that made me question CGI…just wow, practical stunts and effects still live on.

The music, of course I’ll talk about the music – it’s a musical. If you’re a fan of Disney music, you’ll be a fan of this. Stephen Schwartz, the man responsible for being the composer or lyricist or both to Pocahontas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Prince of Egypt & Enchanted. That’s just a Class A drug right there for lovers of Disney music. Yes, the lyrics can be saccharine and you’ll scratch your head at least once. eg the word disgusticified in ‘What is This Feeling?’ You’ll find yourself dancing at least once, yes ‘What is This Feeling?’ You’ll laugh at least once at the absurdity of it all, see ‘Popular’, where Glinda thinks a flower in Elphaba’s loosened hair makes her really beautiful, plus that all the great intelligent people were just popular. The YOLO song – ‘Defying Gravity’, ‘No Good Deed’ also kinda falls in this category, maybe it’s more of the to-hell-with-this-BS song…The you’ll roll your eyes at the crowd, basically any song with the chorus/ensemble cast, except ‘One Short Day’ – I really wish they stayed longer. The OMG-he-might-have-a-point song – ‘Wonderful’. The seriously-I’ll-kill-the-ensemble-cast-this-second song – ‘March of the Witch Hunters’. The this-song-starts-nice-but-now-the-foreshadowing-with-the-couples-kinda-makes-want-to-cry song – ‘Dancing Through Life’, I also call it this is all your fault Glinda song. Seriously, the only couple that technically make it to the end are Elphaba & the pointy hat. Okay I’ll stop now.

Programme and ticket

Wicked has been a long journey for me, ever since I watched the episode of Ugly Betty that introduced it and ‘Defying Gravity’ to me. So to finally watch and experience it will forever make me happy. Shame I would never experience the original Broadway cast, especially Kristin Chenoweth as Glinda – one of the few women I’ll tolerate with advanced OTT acting, I’d honestly watch her sing about watching paint dry, while she waltzed around with maniacal glee. Idina Menzel as Elphaba, will of course always get a mention, the woman has been fortunate in being able to sing a few YOLO songs in her time. I know, I know, some of you are still suffering from Frozen & ‘Let it Go’, it’s not her fault, she’s been blessed. Oh well, I’ve been rocking the original Broadway a Cast recording of Wicked….a tad bit too much. I regret nothing.

 

Happy New Year Folks! Better late than never!!! I honestly don’t know why I’ve that many exclamation marks…

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Who Needs a Platinum Card…

…when I’ve got my first platinum trophy on PSN?

Whoop there it is!

Whoop there it is!

The lucky fella?

Read 'em and weep...

Read ’em and weep…

I always thought it would be this guy…

image

but those pesky kids didn’t want me to…

Damn those pesky kids!

Damn those pesky kids!

 

This is what happens when I’m too lazy to write…I actually called my brother when I got this, ’cause he’s the only one who would really understand…although that one guy on Tumblr understood too.

Get Another Boyband

This all started out innocently enough, I was minding my own buisness tumbling away on Tumblr, then all of sudden I started reblogging musical posts on *NSYNC. Then, I made the mistake of making a comment about Backstreet Boys in my tags…Then I lost about 2 hours, technically it was over 4 hours (that’s *NSYNC, BSB & Shania Twain), of my life.

I kinda forgot how much of a fan I was of BSB, they were my whole secondary school life, they released their debut single in 1995 and their first greatest hits in 2001. I was a student at an apparently prestigious (which means I grew to loathe it) secondary school, yes my big bad secret is…I was a Fowler girl (that’s Vivian Fowler Memorial College for Girls to the uninitiated) from 1995-2001. Yes, I’m a proper Fowler girl, I did the whole 6 years and the move from the original site to its current permanent location.

Anywho, as I tap this out I’m currently listening to BSB’s Black & Blue, it’s the one album of theirs I listened to as a teen, thanks to someone who had it in school, so if you remember your release dates or are handy with Wikipedia, this means this is one of the albums I listened to in my last year of secondary school. In fact, it’s the only album of theirs I’ve ever listened to.

You’ve no idea, how happy I was hearing The Answer to Our Life and my glee that I could still remember the lyrics after over a decade. Then I collectively lost all of what was left of my mind when I heard Get Another Boyfriend. Oh boy it was bad…of course I promptly repeated it, then during said repeat, Black & Blue mysteriously appeared on my phone. I may or may have not spent an hour listening to Get Another Boyfriend today…

Now, this album is made up of 11 other songs including the three singles – Shape of My Heart, The Call, More than That, but I don’t know why Get Another Boyfriend just does it for me, don’t know if it’s because it sounds musically similar to The Call, all I know BSB could always pull it off. And those guys can sing, just google Backstreet Boys and acapella or simply listen to More Than That. Maybe, that’s why I was never really bothered about One Direction, The Wanted, Union Jack, or whatever current boybands out there.

Now, I’ve no idea what BSB has been doing after Drowning came out, since they became a manband and my fickle heart wanted my cheesy boyband back, then I grew up. Yes, I know Kevin left then came back. Seriously, he and Howie were my favourites – I always pick the guys that usually get ignored, and Kevin Richardson is the only man I know whose eyebrows out rival Lee Pace’s.

Well thanks to my Tumblr adventure, I know they made an epic Harlem Shake video and they are doing some kind of cruise ship thing and an odd super-group thing with NKOTB (New Kids on the Block). The album just finished so I’ll end on that note.

 

Yes, I’m now listening to Get Another Boyfriend on repeat…

Every month yo, that’s what the theory is

Now you may be wondering, why am I quoting Lily Allen’s Sheezus? Well, Lily kindly reminded the public that women actually have periods every month. Now, some hardcore men are cringing – why is this woman talking about the dreaded subject? Calm down all you Chuck Norrises and Jason Stathams, this woman will get to the point.

Did you know that sanitary products are taxed in the UK? For those who don’t understand the concept of VAT (Value Added Tax), this is a tax added to products that are not deemed essential, see Wikipedia and official website for more information.

Just to give you more perspective, men’s razors are not taxed as they are classified as essential, so if you’ve got a manly beard, you are good to go.

Now, if you’re one of those, who has to venture into the wild wild world of supermarkets and pharmacies to buy those pesky cotton filled stringy things, miniature towels and other strange things in the feminine hygiene section, then you’re faced with the lovely 5% VAT.

Now some tween guy is going why should this matter? Well during the days of the 17.5% VAT, i.e. pre-credit crunch, all sanitary products were taxed at the full 17.5% until January 2001, were they were reduced to 5% (see the previous link, to find the eligible products) due to campaigning and EU restrictions.

From my personal understanding, VAT has always applied to luxury items, this why an ordinary pack of digestives is exempt from VAT, but a chocolate covered digestive isn’t. Why Jaffa Cakes went through that phase of proving to the HMRC that it was a chocolate covered cake, NOT a chocolate covered biscuit – chocolate covered cakes are not taxed. This is why books are not taxed, but ebooks are taxed. Even gift wrapping is taxed.

Well, here’s a petition, sign at your leisure…or you could always go with the childish approach and threaten to bleed on everything…your choice.

Maybe Lily was right, it really is hard out here…

Charming

At 11:19 this morning, I didn’t expect the loveliest international cold call from a company representing Lifestyle Surverys, now cold calls are not news to me, my Orange mobile (I’ve had it for over 11 years) is the King of receiving cold calls. I even get automated cold calls as my voicemails – always truncated, forever telling me to press 3 for yada yada yada…

Anywho, onto the charming 5-10 minute cold call. I receive my call from +02070781911 and I go this will be interesting. I say hello and a lovely man responds likewise, he gives me a name, which I’ve forgotten – we will call him Bob. Lovely Bob recites a well memorised blurp and gives me the obligatory “our calls are recorded for training purposes” chant. My Spidey-Sacastic-Charmingly-Polite senses are tingling…I’m going to be my nice sweet-like-honey-with-a-hint-of-cyanide-self ’cause I hear the words “we value your privacy.”

I ask how they received my number, Lovely Bob goes on abount outsource companies and elsewhere, I nod then I remember I’m on the phone, “OK.” “So Madam, could you confirm your post code is….”. I laugh, this is so going to be good, “I think I’ve narrowed down where you got my information.” Then I decline and the merry-go-round begins, he says Madam and repeats the question, I repeat my answer, we do this for a while, he even complements my voice, I thank Lovely Bob. I point out about the irony of valuing my privacy a few times, we laugh, dear I say giggle a few times. I point out I’m surprised Lovely Bob doesn’t have my name, since the Madam thing is freaking me out a little, he retorts with Miss instead. I kinda like Lovely Bob…Then I realise, after my I’ve repeated myself a few times, that it’s time I end this ’cause I really want to watch Haven, so this happens-

I am really sorry, I know you have to reach your quota, but unfortunately it will not be with me. I will not give you my current postcode, because I value my privacy and you already have enough information about me.

Lovely Bob understands, I’ll credit this to the tone my voice takes when I talk slower and the Charm takes full effect. Ask my sister about the Charm, when it comes out, it’s a revelation. We say our thank yous and cheerily say our goodbyes like high school sweethearts. Who says I don’t have excitement in my life?

Remember kids don’t bullshit a bullshitter…

He

He only did one thing well…

With a single word, he enters her life. He promises her the world, its taste, its smell, its desires. With endless words and caresses, he charms her, now she wants to know… to feel…to be…more. He pulls her into his web, she is his willing prey.

With every touch, taste, nip, pull, push, lie, slap, thrust, thought he tramples her heart, moulds her into his creation. She now longs and breathes for him. With nothing left, he discards his new conquest, sitting on her chest, while she lays on his bed, for she is now his – a damsel far in distress. A dame with no name, in a game where she is game. A toy that never was his favourite, but will never know the touch of another.

She now knows nothing…only him, her purpose is to please him. Her plan is ready, the date is now, the weight she feels on her chest, will only last for a few moments more. “This is it.” she smiles as she leans back. The air is bliss, she feels his touch as she floats, her mission now complete, everything turns to black. She is forever his.

…he is The Perfect LadyKiller.

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And now, the rules.  Because we said so.

  • your post must be dated October 13, 2013, or later
  • submissions must be 750 words or fewer
  • submissions must be fiction or poetry, including fictional accounts of true stories
  • your piece must start with the following line: “He only did one thing well.”
  • though your post is NOT about the media prompt above, you must make some reference to it
  • the speakeasy is designed for submissions written specifically for the grid. Please do not submit an entry if you intend to showcase it to another blog link-up. Such posts are deleted without notice and we’ll send that demon-y little fella after you.
  • please do not post explanations, qualifications or other stuff prior to the beginning of your post. If you need to clarify anything, feel free to do so briefly at the end.
  • the badge for your speakeasy #131 post is found in the sidebar. Be sure to add the code to the html view of your post before publishing

Remember, thinking outside the box is super-cool.  And writing inside the box never gets seen unless you tear it open to find the cereal coupon.  So don’t write inside that box.

My Process

Stare, Ponder…Type.

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In true fashion, I didn’t really pay attention, so I wrote this initial 33 word entry [for your retention/attention. Bloody hell, I need intervention] My head’s feeling rhymey

I read I stare, sometimes I glare.

I ponder while I blunder, hoping to show off my wonder.

Then I type away.

The 5 minutes it takes to piece together my faux masterpiece.

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For Trifextra 76

This weekend, we’re asking for you to sum up your own process with just three little words.  Give us dry wit, pathos or otherwise.  And remember, we like your blood on the page.

The day I actually take my time to write, I’ll probably win a Trifextra and maybe even life.

Fingers

With…

…the stroke of my pen,

…a Swype of my touchpad keyboard,

…the tippy tapping of my laptop keyboard,

another internet gangster slain. I wonder, if any remain?

Hail to my deadly fingers.

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For Trifextra 75

Last weekend we gave you a super prescriptive prompt.  We also promised you we’d ease up this week.  As such, this weekend we are asking for a thirty-three word free-write.  Any topic, any style–just give us your best thirty three.

 

Hey, I did say I was kinda of an ass, you’ve gotta love continuity. Thanks to this excellent comment. It was the first thing I read this morning, a mere minute after I woke up – after laughing for 5 minutes, I said “Challenge Accepted.” Yes, I know I went a bit OTT with the Google search, but my assiness wouldn’t let it slide…

EDIT: Happy 280th post!

Summer is…

Summer is watching…

…every man, think he’s James Bond.

…every woman feebly hide a laugh, while he struts, then walks into a wall.

Summer is me observing it all, on a decaying pedestal.

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For Trifextra 72

This weekend we’re asking you to describe summer in your own words. Thirty-three of them exactly, of course.

One day, I’ll write something epic…until then, you’re left with the trolls that live in my head…or whatever I write in 10 minutes…or both.