Every month yo, that’s what the theory is

Now you may be wondering, why am I quoting Lily Allen’s Sheezus? Well, Lily kindly reminded the public that women actually have periods every month. Now, some hardcore men are cringing – why is this woman talking about the dreaded subject? Calm down all you Chuck Norrises and Jason Stathams, this woman will get to the point.

Did you know that sanitary products are taxed in the UK? For those who don’t understand the concept of VAT (Value Added Tax), this is a tax added to products that are not deemed essential, see Wikipedia and official website for more information.

Just to give you more perspective, men’s razors are not taxed as they are classified as essential, so if you’ve got a manly beard, you are good to go.

Now, if you’re one of those, who has to venture into the wild wild world of supermarkets and pharmacies to buy those pesky cotton filled stringy things, miniature towels and other strange things in the feminine hygiene section, then you’re faced with the lovely 5% VAT.

Now some tween guy is going why should this matter? Well during the days of the 17.5% VAT, i.e. pre-credit crunch, all sanitary products were taxed at the full 17.5% until January 2001, were they were reduced to 5% (see the previous link, to find the eligible products) due to campaigning and EU restrictions.

From my personal understanding, VAT has always applied to luxury items, this why an ordinary pack of digestives is exempt from VAT, but a chocolate covered digestive isn’t. Why Jaffa Cakes went through that phase of proving to the HMRC that it was a chocolate covered cake, NOT a chocolate covered biscuit – chocolate covered cakes are not taxed. This is why books are not taxed, but ebooks are taxed. Even gift wrapping is taxed.

Well, here’s a petition, sign at your leisure…or you could always go with the childish approach and threaten to bleed on everything…your choice.

Maybe Lily was right, it really is hard out here…

I’ve voted.

Have you? Are you even registered? If not shame on you. Anyhoo, the UK has the weirdest electoral system known to man, well maybe just me. I found it highly strange, that none of the Prime Ministerial candidates appeared, instead you get MP, so you vote for the party you support. Plus, it’s raining like crazy (Plymouth). Well there goes my first ever vote ever. So after all the hung parliament talks, you don’t get to see Brown, Cameron, Clegg or other on your ballot paper. Next time UK make it easier. This ish is confusing, no wonder the Lib Dems are pissed.

It’s been two weird days, first the president of my country OFFICIALLY died yesterday at 2100-ish. Then this weird ass electoral system, looks like the slimy one will be Prime Minister. Plus the UKIP candidate was in a light plane crash. Karma?? **shrugs**

Back to scheduled programming.

The irony continues

Welcome to day 2 of the PHCN strike, it’s exactly like a normal day PHCN, i.e. "no light". Hopefully, those dumb asses will get off their fat asses, cause that pay rise is soo not going to happen. And if it does, I think we citizens of Nigerians should finally riot. Diesel is not cheap! I’ve only been home for a week, and it’s actually gotten worse, since my last visit.

To those vagabons at PHCN, do your bloody jobs! How dare you expect a pay rise from your lazy crusty dusty asses. You’re always quick to cut off a paying customer’s electricity, when you’ve goofed or taken a bribe to ignore. I haven’t seen the new 12hr shift yet, since you decided to cut it to 0-3hours. I enjoyed the joke you played at Ada’s expense though, there she was telling me it would appear by noon, she heard the sound from the other street signaling the return of "light", then BAM! You bring it back, she’s ecstatic, jumping and saying "I told you so, I told you so", then in mid-jump BAM! It goes. I start cackling like Dracula in heat.

Why should I pay a bribe for you to do your job? Infact, keep striking.
NB: PHCN – Power Holding Company of Nigeria, fka NEP plc, originally known as NEPA (Nigerian Electric Power Authority). Cue all the power holding, please light candle jokes. Ahh..how I’ve missed you.

Mmm…I predict a riot, I predict riot. I had to make a musical reference. I need chocolate.

The delectable James Gray

Aww…you gotta love the recession. With the MPs’ expenses scandal (KitKat, Porn, Duck Mansion, the ever changing/elusive second home, it gets weirder by the second). I have always said every government is corrupt, just that some do their work [& steal], while others just steal.

Anyhoo, on to the delectable Mr. Gray. He’s a Conservative MP, with a lil’ knack for Foollipism (for the uninformed that’s Prince Phillip-ism), I just had to congratulate him on his sheer stupidity & lack of common sense. Thanks to Friday’s episode of Have I Got News for You, I discovered his lovable ass. The whole cheating on his breast cancer-stricken wife was so romantic, I had to Wikipedia him. Yes, it’s rather sad that my main source of News is HIGNFY, but  I can’t help it. It being the fact that I no longer use the bus or train regularly to Uni & I can’t be assed to go to the train station every morning to get the Metro paper & that I only watch the news after Doctor Who/HIGNFY/the occasional Wossy/whatever it is I occasionally watch telly for, since I can’t be assed to switch off the Telly, due to the simple fact that it didn’t come with a remote. But I digress.

Back to scheduled programming. On Wiki, I read about the Afghanistan Incident, full details here (the short version is he took photos of a dying soilder). He tried to claim for a Remembrance Sunday wreath. Apparently, he has gotten away with it before. You gotta love this lovable rascal. It’s amazing how these civil servants forget who pays their salaries. God bless selective amnesia.

"We all make mistakes from time to time, but every moment I’m awake, I’m making mine." – chorus of "Make Mistakes" by Infedals. Don’t you just love his smile?

Plus, I find it a tad bit weird that I’m eligible to vote for EU
concerns, while I’m neither British or European, but apparently I’m
allowed since we (Nigerians) were colonised by the British. You learn something new everyday.

woke up this mornin…….

…….to d followin healine courtesy of Inside Yahoo! n Windows Live Today more or less saying Saddam Hussein was excuted (by hanging).apparently there were celebrations…….reminds me of d time when Abacha died,u sud have seen d steps,MJ,JT,Usher n Ms. Jackson had nuttin on those people that were steppin (in d name of luv).xpect some B.O.B. (bombs over baghdad,Outkast knew wat they were doin)
 
apparently,he didn’t want 2 wear d black hood and seemed "very calm and did not tremble" b4 his xecution.i still can’t blive it,d dude is dead. 4 some absurd reason,i can hear some people saying "ding dong,d witch is dead".mayb,its jus me.oh well d end of an era
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
George Bush was asleep at d time.at 0600 Iraqi time.we were all asleep.

OBJ n 3rd term

yes,its me again.am feelin ratha talkative 4 som odd reason.huh???
 
anyhoo,am ratha pissed wit uncle sege/OBJ/president olusegun obansanjo/missin link btw ape & chimp.u neva tire????all d chop way u don chop neva tire u.remba when uncle sege/ape-chimp was released from prison afta abacha’s death??bom boi,lookd v v skinny (nt really,but space dey 4 hin trouser dat time naw).now bros don chop so te e neva full,d 2 terms small,no bi small.e need anoda 1,jus 2 make sure.
 
na lie.e go do all of u like film,when bom boi go transfer us bck 2 militari!b ready-o,we go soon enta dictatorship pt.2.omo its hard 2 write in pdgin-o!
 
uncle sege,dis is d rantins of an incoherent ramblings of a pissed of igbo woman!i cud give u my full name,but it wont help cuz i share it wit at least (an understatemnt) a 1000 women.
 
on a more serious note,y?y sud a country wit excess potential,suffer from corrupt leaders???wat happend 2 d days of zik?y r d north n west thrvin in politics?wat happend 2 d igbos?y did obj ban mr. president by african china?duh cuz he was tellin d truth!
 
did u knw ppl actually tot ape-chimp was d hope of naij?he was actually a contender 4 time person of d yr,durin d handova?they were all like he’d turn us bck 2d gd ol’ days.apparently,i was d only 1 who saw it comin,gosh i  was 13 then,yes em it was may 1999.gosh am old.
 
or was fela (stil?) rite,r we always sufferin n smilin?wil naij eva gt betta?wil we eva ovacome?i jus remberd,dis’s d 3rd time obj has been d ruler of naij.everytime,d us presidos came,he was rulin.yup jimmy carter,bill clinton,bush boi obj was there.anybodi watch d boondocks esp- riley wuz here?focus,dobs!
 
wil obj eva lose weight?can obj stil fit in a suit?y doe he always look like an organ grinder?em remba dat pic 4 d summit thingy dat was in d papers (around Q time) n i was ashamed 2 pt out my presido?contrary 2 popular belief,we hav cool n beautiful natives,ask em bout d 1 i wore 4 dat dinner thingy in q.we jus hv a bad ambassador.sha,sha God dey.we shall ovacome……………………..someday.yes i talk 2 much
 
 
 
 
news flash – adaobi has been deportd from her own country.