505 minutes

That’s the total time of the Hobbit trilogy, which I sat through at my local cinema. Even though, we had several false starts – An Unexpected Journey had to be restarted thrice, the projector went a bit gaga. We had both a widescreen & letterbox presentation in squashed 2D, this was supposed to be in 3D, fortunately it got sorted. Desolation of Smaug ran without incident. The Battle of the Five Armies….well, technical difficulties struck, the projector went back to the squashed widescreen letterbox 2D presentation, we ended up watching it in 2D.

Now, I had ignored the Hobbit film for a long while, I got a screener copy, but I was somehow bored with it. This time, I was engrossed with it, it was 2001 (or 2002?) again and I was back in the Shire, fully engrossed with the brilliance that is Tolkein’s Middle Earth, but this time instead of it being in the comfort of my living room back in Lagos, I was finally experiencing it at a cinema in Aldershot.

In the space of those 505 minutes, I was invested in characters, who somehow survived the first 300 or so minutes, the climax battle both stunning and heartbreaking. There’s one death that physically hurt me, that only fanfiction will cure. I knew blood would be spilt – it had to be, but it still hurt. Then the added blow, that I’d seen the actor in another show that I enjoyed, where his character also died, so the actor could appear in the Hobbit trilogy. Yes, the brain is a funny thing when you’re trying to cope with fictional death – it provides more related incidents…

All in all, it was brilliant finally seeing ‘The Hobbit: There and Back Again’ in its full glory, the story that made a young Hobbit seek adventure, all because his home-loving cousin unwittingly got hired as a burglar.

Of course, Lee Pace’s eyebrows still have a life of their own, they will always get a mention. Oh and Gollum is still one terrifyingly entertaining creature. All hail Andy Serkis, King of mo-capping. One day, I shall get the hang of the weird resolution of the featured imag banner, until then enjoy the oddness.

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