The Last of Us Demo

Finally, downloaded this today, thank you God of War: Ascension, the gift that keeps on giving.

OK, so The Last of Us is more or less Dead Space in Washington…Great, another awesome game, I’ll be too chicken to play. I’ve lost you there, let me explain. I thought The Last of Us was an action-adventure video game set in a really frakked up Earth, like I Am Alive*. This is what happens, when you don’t pay attention, then a zombie turns up. Dude, after hearing the critters on 5.1 DTS, my ass quit quicker than a crackhead on ice…What the frak?! Seriously… *I Am Alive also turned out to be a survival horror, but instead of zombies, it was depravity of humanity.

Look, I’m a fan of horror films, maybe not as stir crazy like I used to be, but I’ve never been a fan of horror/survival horror based games – too immersive. For example, the first [and only] time I played Dead Space, okay let me explain the scenario for you:

I arrive home, with my recently purchased Dead Space (Xbox360) – was estatic, only spent a fiver in CeX and it was heralded as one of the best games on the 360. I open the case, with the excitement of a 5 year old about to meet Santa for realsies… Pop in the disc. Watched the opening cinematic – me likey, some kind of distress call, weird shit happened/happening, this will be awesome. Oh goodie, I get to control him now. OK, there’s the door, let’s open it and kick some hunny buns! I’m sure I’ll get the weapon & the obligatory tutorial on how to use it, right? HELL NO! OH CRAP, WHAT THE FRAK IS TRYING TO KILL ME?! C’MON, HOW WILL I KILL IT WITH NO WEAPONS OR TUTORIAL?! I CAN’T JUST PUNCH IT TO DEATH! THAT DISTRESS CALL MESSAGE WAS BAD, THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY ALL DEAD NOW!!! MUMMY…?!

Yup, all that happened in the space of the 10s, it took to switch off my 360. NEVER played it again. Although, I’ve watched someone play Dead Space 2. It’s an awesome sight to watch, when played well. So when, I heard the critters, just after I discovered the dead body in The Last of Us, and noticed the door way, I took the initiative to quit. No gorram zombie is going to jump on my character’s face and eat him! Nope, not on my watch! Plus, this woman next to me isn’t in the ads, so she’s probably going to die…

Look, if I was petrified with Dead Space on my tiny 17inch tv/monitor, how the hell would I cope with The Last of Us on my 32inch LED full HD TV, with my 1000W 5.1 surround sound system, playing DTS? Dude, my room actually rumbles. Geez it rumbles, when Walter Bishop is talking…Ahh…Fringe on Blu-Ray is freaking sweet! Last time I watched Inception, I caused a mini earthquake in my room! All this and the volume’s usually on 10-15. Maximum voulume: 50. I’ve never gone past 20, that’s when I lived in the basement in my previous accomodation. I live on the ground floor now, if I ever play music, a videogame or a Blu-Ray past 12, the guy upstairs gets a headache, and my housemate downstairs gets a massage room…

Sorry moonshiners, I promised you Uncharted & I failed you. What if I record a podcast of my reaction, while playing the demo? Would that make you happy? Sorry no speakeasy this week, kinda forgot…


3 thoughts on “The Last of Us Demo

  1. ummm….that’s a pretty exciting post.
    I dropped from chair laughing after this, “No gorram zombie is going to jump on my character’s face and eat him! Nope, not on my watch! Plus, this woman next to me isn’t in the ads, so she’s probably going to die…”
    If only I was still into gaming!

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