5 Things I’ve Learnt from Playing God of War

I’ve never had a favourite anything, but God of War is definitely without a doubt my favourite hack and slash video game. This PlayStation exclusive has a special place in my devious heart. Apparently, I get rather passionate about it – something involving bloodlust, a diabolical grin and a manic presentation – complete with hand gestures & sound effects.

Frak, my…err…ex-boyfriend…it’s weird…once pointed out that I sound really crazy happy & even sexy, when I’m talking about this game series. Look, I don’t do sexy, I do scary, apparently once in a while sounds sexy. They were right, I might need help…

Great Stress Relief

Let’s be honest, there are days, when life has decided to take a dump on you – your boss is being a tool; customers are not always right (she wants Mario on the 360); someone stepped on your shoes etc – and you just want to relax and/or kill something – fictional not factual! Pop in any GOW game, play it on God/Titan/Chaos Mode and enjoy. You see that smile on your face… who needs yoga?

Kratos, the Greek Myth Killer

Look, GOW is not a history lesson in Greek Mythology, that’s what your local library, Encarta, Wikipedia, yada yada are for. Encarta was my baby before Wikipedia came along. Anywho, how come the Olympian gods no longer exist? Kratos killed them all…except Aphrodite.

The Colossus of Rhodes? Zeus brought it to life, Kratos killed it. Hercules? Kratos killed him with a door. Sorry, he did that to another guy, Theseus – he impaled him with his own spear, then killed him with a door. Kratos trapped Hercules literally under the arena they were fighting on and punched him 19 times in the face…wait for it…with his own weapon, which he keeps.

The Furies? First sister: De-armed, then she held him prisoner, he escaped, then killed her. Second sister: Shock, shock, horror with her Phoenix-like creature, killed. Third Sister: She turned into a Kraken-like monster, killed.

Ares? Killed in the first game, well… Kratos took the Wonderland route i.e. grew a whole lot bigger. Then, he and Ares duel on a scale, that makes King Kong look like an ant.

Zeus and the rest of the Olympian gods? Just play GOW III, they all meet gruesome ends. Geez, while I was ending Zeus, as Kratos obviously, I was tapping the square button so much, that when I let go – the sequence kept on going for almost 10 minutes…

Hydra? Medusa? Chimera? Satyr? Persephone? The Fates? Minotaurs? Titans? Kratos.

Dying is an Honour

This is one of those games, like Devil May Cry, where dying in the heat of slashing is a great honour. In a game, where you can kill a character 20 times your size, with the classic “Why are you Hitting Yourself?”, a little bout of death is bound to happen. Usually, you’re surrounded by a lot of mythical monsters and covered in their blood. As a bonus, killing those random bystanders, blocking your way gives you health.

Boobs

This is for the teenage boys…I had to hold your attention somehow. They are in every GOW game, usually accompanied by those annoying mini-sex games. Okay, Ascension skipped that, but I definitely still saw boobs.

First Boss: Awesomeness Guaranteed

Since GOW bounced onto the scene in 2005, with the Hydra as the first boss, the games have never disappointed with their epic first boss fights. Don’t believe me… GOW 2 – The Colossus of Rhodes.

GOW 3 – Poseidon, with all his water horse monster and water trickery, he got thoroughly trounced. Yup, the POV from Poseidon’s really bad, until Kratos err…messes up his eyes…

GOW:A – Megaera (a Fury), with the help of her parasitic insects and Aegaeon, the Hecatonchires.

Hey, this post was bound to happen…might as well scare the folks at yeah write… 😀

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9 thoughts on “5 Things I’ve Learnt from Playing God of War

  1. I am constantly educated by my clients re these games. I am always amazed. Regarding the boobs I think they are just a carry over from the Marvel comic days.

  2. My kids and husband are all obsessed with World of Warcraft. I tried it out and couldn’t get into it, but this sounds like fun.

    • Stopped playing first person shooters a long time ago, in fact it was during the time when Duke Nukem Forever was originally announced. Although, I’ve played DOOM, Duke Nukem & Wolfenstein back in the day.

      Hopefully, your kids are not into the fanboy wars (Microsoft Xbox vs. Sony Playstation). Anywho, don’t worry I suck at aiming, it says so on my PSN profile below.

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