Daily Prompt: Bookworm| Thief of Thieves

The last book I read was Artemis Fowl & The Last Guardian, in fact I even had an adventure with it, I was stranded in London ’cause of the floods on my return journey back to Plymouth. The 3.5 hour journey took over 7 hours to complete…all I know, I finally woke at Plymouth train station at 8am…after we were stuck at the station in Exeter St. Davids for over 3 hours…

But, as I type, I realise that’s incorrect. That was the last hardback book I’ve read… The last book I read was Thief of Thieves, Volume 2: “Help Me”.

I recommend the you read this brilliant comic series. I discovered it in my local comic book shop, Final Frontier, where it was recommended to me by Sam…yes I remembered his name! Obviously, he recommended Volume 1: “I Quit”, I enjoyed it so much, I waited for the next collected volume, yes your Royal Cheapness did the right thing.

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Daily Prompt: Bookworm

Tell us about the last book you read (Why did you choose it? Would you recommend it?). To go further, write a post based on its subject matter.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us WORDS.

It’s about a thief who wants to retire, but has to pull off one last big score, thanks to his son – who really wants to be like Master Thief Daddy, but he sucks. Yeah, just realised I didn’t give a summary. I read too much fanfics, so I’m surprised I was able to read that. Oh & Artemis Fowl & The Last Guardian was good too…

Ain’t I Funny?

Hello folks, since no one else will do it I will. This is the closest to vain & narcissistic, you’re ever going to get from me. Anywho, I like to think I’ve got a sense of humour. Sometimes it’s very had to find, since my default vocal setting is sarcastic & cynical, even when I’m complementing someone.

Since the batteries to my remote control have died, and I can’t find the AAA batteries, I’m stuck watching BBC1 with the annoying tennis highlights of Andy Murray & Roger Federer – it’s been going on for a long time, over 3 freaking hours! Oh well, you get a match in England, you get rain, everyone else gets highlights…

Summer is…

Summer is watching…

…every man, think he’s James Bond.

…every woman feebly hide a laugh, while he struts, then walks into a wall.

Summer is me observing it all, on a decaying pedestal.

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For Trifextra 72

This weekend we’re asking you to describe summer in your own words. Thirty-three of them exactly, of course.

One day, I’ll write something epic…until then, you’re left with the trolls that live in my head…or whatever I write in 10 minutes…or both.

Person of the Year

There’s only one person, I can think of,

Through those trying times,

You try, I fail, you cry, I bail.

You put up a front, while I squander my lot,

But still, you truly see what lies beneath.

Despite all my failings, you still believe there’s more underneath,

Though we act like we don’t care, like this is only yours to bear,

Mum, you will forever be, my person of the year.

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Daily Prompt: Person of the Year

OK, I’ve no idea, how this became poetry, my fingers type on their own bloody accord… I know, I have more to say, but the world doesn’t need my drama… Of course, my most liked post is about food. Go Ben & Jerry’s Go! We know, who we are…

Weekly Photo Challenge: Fleeting. Dear Messrs Ben and Jerry

Why oh why, are your ice-cream confections, perfections?

Why oh why, can’t it ever last longer than 10 minutes?

10 minutes you ask, surely it takes longer to complete this task?

That’s how long it takes for your perfections to become extinctions.

An extinction, I will gladly commit again.

Oh crap, I see another tub, here we go again…

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For The Daily Post’s Weekly Photo Challenge, this week it’s Fleeting… Duh… Err… I needed a prompt, so I found one…

Damn you Ben & Jerry’s! And it’s not poetry, it just happened to rhyme…Why fleeting, err… I get a tub, a hand towel and a teaspoon, and I go HAM on it…You see fleeting…

Pet Peeves

This was going to be a proper post, but I can’t be frakked to type, so you’re left with my err…awesome… voice…Smile like you mean it folks, I command you to smile! This would have been up earlier, but the neighbours are really partying hard – that was on Saturday, I think the dude’s called Andrew, ’cause his Happy Birthday song kinda sucked, too many drunk folks – and my mic is fussy. Plus, I had some serious noise issues with my mic, finally sorted it out…

 

One day, I’ll spend more than 5 minutes constructing stuff, one day I shall write something freaking awesome…Till that day, you’re left with these…sorry… Oh and you should have seen how I freaked out with the blonde hair – I was all “eww…get it off me, my hand, oh my gawd, I going to die!”

All Tied Up

No more tears, no more pain, no more… this ends here. I look up at my soon to be ex-husband, tied up and beaten, just like he did to me for years. “Goodbye honey…” I smile as I cock the gun, “…see you soon”.

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For Trifextra 71

This weekend we’re revisiting an early Trifextra, our second ever.  The challenge is to write a complete story in only three sentences.

 

OK, this was originally going to end differently, but that happened…

Why I Shouldn’t Have Nice Things…

Been playing with my impulse buy & Audacity lately. Look, blame my cousin, Nene, for the weird ish I put up on YouTube today, sadly there’s more to come. I was minding my own business, when I recalled I hadn’t visited her blog in a while…

Well, it’s safe to say that I enjoyed the epicness, that was her blog post, so much – it brought out my inner wacko. So I decided to record some radio ads to the weird posters, since, Photoshop is not my friend…

As I was writing (ok, maybe trying to write) the spoof scripts, the weirdness happened, when I came across the Chukwudi poster. I kinda lost whatever sense of sanity I had left, and went total cray cray. Stopped writing, hopped on my mic and proceeded to make a total fool of myself….

Spoof Outtakes

Thanks to my lil’ sis, you won’t have any more spoof ads in Nigerian Pidgin English. Apparently, my pidgin really sucks now, damn you English accent! I will probably do the rest in a straight English accent. Although, I think I can still pull off an accented Yoruba English accent. Looks like my accented Igbo English needs some work…Wow, I’ve been in this country too long! Up next, Indiana Jona, whenever I finally stop laughing at the poster…

The View

mohammadali / Love Photos / CC BY-NC-SA

As I sit here, admiring the view, thinking of wars past, of lost loves, of lost treasures, of my place in this beauty. My brother spits, “Hey sis, how long would it take?”

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For Trifextra 70

For this weekend’s prompt we’re asking for exactly 33 words inspired by the following picture.

Hey, we were all kinda thinking it…

The Last of Us Demo

Finally, downloaded this today, thank you God of War: Ascension, the gift that keeps on giving.

OK, so The Last of Us is more or less Dead Space in Washington…Great, another awesome game, I’ll be too chicken to play. I’ve lost you there, let me explain. I thought The Last of Us was an action-adventure video game set in a really frakked up Earth, like I Am Alive*. This is what happens, when you don’t pay attention, then a zombie turns up. Dude, after hearing the critters on 5.1 DTS, my ass quit quicker than a crackhead on ice…What the frak?! Seriously… *I Am Alive also turned out to be a survival horror, but instead of zombies, it was depravity of humanity.