Quake or Tremor?

Quick Q – Did Birmingham just get hit by a slight earthquake or tremor [@00:59 or so]? Cuz, I know my room just shook. So unless the Juggernaut was shakin’ my buildin’ for 30s, I am kinda scared shitless.

That’s definately a 1st 4 me. Unless, u count d expulsion that happened in ’01 or so @ d military thingymajic in Ikeja, even tho I was livin in VI @ d time [& I was more or less asleep], I still felt it.

TV Liscense

Why in  God’s name am I talkin’ bout this? Well after receiving d umpteenth letter from TV Licensing, actually to b more precise it’s to THE LEGAL OCCUPIER, now they’ve spiced it up to URGENT LEGAL DOCUMENT ENCLOSED or something like that. Anyhoo, it got me wondering……..What if the legal occupier, doesn’t watch the BBC? Why haven’t they sorted out a way to block the Beeb, so that Beeb-Haters can watch telly in peace? Why do I pay for satellite, freeview, to get supposedly free chanels? Why is TV Liscense so bloody expensive? Why should I pay TV License for all the BBC channels when I only watch/have 2? Why are they switching off the analogue, since it would force people to get digital telly – making everyone pay for a colour tv? Why should I pay TV License if I am watching foreign satellite transmitted telly? Who was the greedy bastard, that changed the whole foreign thingy in 2003? Why is a colour TV Liscense thrice the price of a black & white telly? When is the inspector coming? I need to get this over with, since my telly is for gaming purposes. Although, I probably won’t let him in, since my room looks like its been bombed. Why should I pay TV Liscense, if ITV, Channel 4 or five decide to start streaming their programs live?

I have read the whole, yes almost everything of relevant importance, u know like y I sudn’t put my hand in fire, and a TV Liscense is needed if u WATCH or RECORD programs AS THEY ARE BEING SHOWN aka LIVE from ANYWHERE in the UK. In other words, if u watch/record live tv from ur phone, telly (obviously), laptop, camera, witchcraft, magic, a fish tank………….u get d picture. BBC iPlayer betta not [more like NEVER!] include live streaming. The Beeb & those [luvly fatties/sex working that Bideford Lib Dem councillor's pic stil cracks me up/punchin/sometimes skinny/always smokin pot in their uni days/all had free education, but r now making people pay/questionable campaign funds/always having skeletons in closet/black [with d ocassional blue] suit wearing/always getting attacked on hardtalk or something something similar by a man wearing a colourful tie/it’s amazing how I can digress/always resigning] politicians/goverment need to stop calling it TV Liscense and should change it to the BBC License & sort themselves out. Oh, & @ some point lower d price, cuz it’s currently £135.50 is approximately 25 hours of work @ minimum wage, bearing in mind I haven’t added taxes. Plus if ur like me, NI & Income tax messed me up during my 1 month @ HMV. They took a combined total of bout £150 from my NMW job – which I did for 19 hours in my first 2 weeks & unlimited for d rest. NI is meant to b 10% & they sure as hell took more than that! Don’t even get me startd on income tax & d fact that since i got my NINO, they can now start taxing my savings.

I was going to give a long informative argument/opinion but frankly no one really cares. Oh well, onward something somethings. I am soooo going home after I graduate, with all the taxes, the whole immigration changing policies. As much as I like order and certainty, I miss the chaos of my country. The one thing I’ll miss of the UK though is the weather, yes I’m one of the crazies that loves the cold. Oh and by the way, reducing the cost of the TV Liscence would actually give people the incentive to get one, cap it at £45 (or lower) for all tellies, with 25 million PAYING, they could ease up on the price. With the DVDs, merchandise, international liscenses and we know the Beeb are not really import crazy, they really could ease up on the price. You might as well just confess & call it TV Tax & you might as well give the comercials [ITV & co] a slice of that pie. Oh and produce better programmes, give us value for our money [since you kiddies don't call it TV Tax]. If I ever see another BBC program telling me to call a 09 number or any other number that isn’t a 0800 number yes people, it’s zero not the letter O, you guys better start explaining why I pay TV Liscense. Oh and you better make Being Human a tv series.

Could those drunk bastards stop shouting & singing, was there a match today. And y r those girls screaming??

Finally…..

….watchd d Chris Crocker video [after months of avoidance I finally caved in, this is Crank Dat all ova again], u knw d "leave B alone" 1. Gosh, that crackd me up – yes I’m evil{Insert Cackle Here}. "You have 2 go thru me" – I was in fits. What a productive Sat I’ve had. I watchd loads of Lenny Henry clips, rewatchd d Gina Yashere Def Comedy Jam clip, watchd d whole of Eddie Murphy’s Delirious [all on utube. YouTube really is awesome. 2b precise d USERS of tube r awesome. Thanks 4 d awesomeness]. Back 2 CC, gd on u mate 4 bein a BS fanboy & all, but u’ve gotta admit u were funny, all teary eyed & screechy. Can’t believe he got coverage on telly 4 that or that Tay Zonday [I was blissfully unaware bout d whole Choclate Rain craze til I watchd Lily Allen & Friends via iplayer] really sings like that. Geez, I like [scratch that luv] me a deep gravelly voice, but a dude that small – It’s kinda freaky. It must have been a slow news day.

I’m currently tryin’ 2 psych myself into goin’ a 2 friend’s bday dinner thingamagicy. I just cant be assd but its lookin gd, since my clothes r in d laundry & all. People pls remove ur hairy shit afta u’ve used d washin machine. C’mon etiquette ppl, don’t even get me startd on d spittin on d floor shit. WKOFIT? I’m always lookin @ d ground when I walk, just 2 avoid that shit.

In other random news, loads of British ppl think Sherlock Holmes’ real, while they think his author Arthur Conan Doyle’s fiction. They even think Winstone Churchill’s fiction. Geez, he didn’t c that comin’ when he did d V sign. And d luvly British government want immigrants 2 learn their culture & do a British test. Could some1 pls yell "IRONY" @ this point. At this rate, 90% of d indeginous sud b deportd. Just rememberd when I read d Metro, where som1 said they sud teach immgrants 2 stop spittin [actually I read a reply of that letta, so in all fairness I sud hv said it was a reply of a letta that said d whole immgrant spittin thingy - oh well u get d point]. Anyhoo, d replier askd if they had tot d indeginous. @ som pt u’ll figure out wat I was tryin 2 say.

In other other random news…………. aww crap, I 4got. Yes! I remba! Aww crap, sud hv typd in out 1st. Give me 5mins, if it doesn’t come back, oh well.
YES! It was bout my hits, normally in a gd week, I usually get 1-5 hits. On a normal day I get 0. So when I get an influx of crazy hits in 1 day [ok, it's only 11], I tend 2 hv a heart attack. Then of course, it all goes pear shaped, when I realise where I got d hits from – Baidu, Google, Yahoo! & plain ass crazy [usually in Asian - I say Asain bcuz 4 d life of me I don't know d differance btw Japanese, Korean, Chinese, etc so Asian's a safe bet] search engines. And they r always lookin for music, random words or in some cases [which r gettin ratha frequent] porn. Y d heck, wud sm1 b lookin for b-shot? [That actually led them 2 my iTunes sud b shot post - which is 1st on d baidu search]

**Wonders out loud** If my boo had dat deep ass voice a la TZ or dat dude that used 2b in BoyzIIMen…………Only God knows wat I wud have done.

Auto-tune’s a Biatch

Just found out my version of HAI/CAF is a demo. Bloody hell, BS sounds v polishd on d album version. All I kept sayin while I was listenin’ 2 it [via utube] was "Auto-tune’s a bitch", I kept chantin’ this mantra ova & ova & ova, that I gave d cars [parked below] a migraine. D weird thing is I prefer d demo. Geez, y didn’t Boom Kack use A-T? It wud hv made dat travesty bearable. And she xpects me to pay $99.95 for a BK hoodie?? I’d ratha buy clear heels [Yes ppl, Chris Rock].

Update: T-Pain without it, some random dude wit it.

Once I get my auto-tune, I’m gonna record my new hit single on audacity called "I’m Whack Y’all". Update: Just got its freeware equivalent (GSnap), looks like d single’s bout 2 get released.

Sm1 Goofed

NME & their supposedly cool moves messed up. I just read their noms & I’m rather confused. How did MCR get nominated for best international band AND worst band?? Pete Dohert got nominated 4 hero of d yr?? PD also got nominatd 4 d best AND worst dressd. And sm of d awards sound ratha childish.

Mayb, thats hw d supposedly cool roll.

WKOFIT?

I finally decided 2 watch d Scientology Video starring Tom Cruise. Being a christian & self confessed SP [surpressed person in 'tology lingo aka S-Hater], I try not 2 judge other ppl’s religion but wit ‘tology its bleedin’ hard. Seriously WTF’s goin on wit that laff? If dat was meant 2b a recruitment vid, my chances of joinin Al-Q has increasd dramatically. He was v v v vvvvvv redundant, dat laff was bloody creepy, of course its a blast – ur stupendously rich. He’s changd ova 1billion ppl [of Earth, u think?! wat bout Mars?], geez TC kinda sounds like cancer. Oh well, 2 each their own.

Imagine if he was broke, he’d b hella pissd.

GH3

Decided to treat myself to GH3, closed my eyes used my student discount, waited for 3days [no deliveries on Sundays], got it 2day after my lecture. I said to myself, "Y don’t u try playin some chords, since ur 2 scarrd to play on ur REAL acoustic". All rightey then, I [carefully] open d box. I c its broken, I panic, then I come to realise, it’s detachable. Sigh. Then I say "It’s quite small". Then I notice that some of d sillica balls have gotten in. I shake & rattle [& roll] till I get all of em out of d stock, unfortunately I can’t get any out of d base. I smile & say "As long as it works, no probs".
I pop GH3 into my PS2, plug d wireless receiver in, turn on my PS2. This is when all hell broke loose – Guitar no worky. I found myself playin GH3 wit my analog, me kinda pissed & also singing/hummin slow ride. Went thru all d instructions, red octane’s support. So unless d microwave or/& my mobiles r causing an interference, dis wireless guitar’s broken. Not a gd way of welcomin me into d whole Guitar Hero franchise, since it looks like I will be returnin’ this. Damn, I sud have gone a HMV store not their website. Wil try again, if not y’all r gettin it back. Next time stick wit d wired.
Aside from d dodgy guitar, GH3′s not bad. Who knows, I may get an electric afta I hv killed my acoustic.

Update: Returnd GH3 [imagine it wasnt even shrink wrapped], bought d special edition wit 2 wired guitars. GH3′s d 1 game I play on easy, its actually harder 2 play wit d guitar. I kinda miss d whole analog [I didnt need 2 strum]. Short life-span tho, since I finishd it in like 5hrs or so, now I gt 2 relive it wit 2 guitars. Now only if I cud start a band wit GH?? They sud try 2 let us compose wit GH, wud b cool. HMV betta put that money back in my account.

Ada, I broke my choc ban – d minstrels got me. Wil try 2 keep d pizza & ice cream ban. mmm pizza. Hope u njoy that ur higher 2ndry skool [dats claims 2b a uni]. BTW, ppl v-day’s ovarated. Pink [color, not d singer] sud be banned.Update: I broke all 3 [bans].

Don’t u just luv….

…when an American tries to spread peace in d Middle East & d shit hits d fan. Erykah Badu tried. How in the name of Sheba, wud u praise Louis Farrakhan & Palestinian rappers in Tel Aviv & 4gt 2 mention their Isreali counterparts.

Imagine, last nite, am minding my own bizness chattin wit my lil sis & i gt my weekly email from vibedownloads tellin me Uncle Shege [dats Obasanjo aka OBJ, d ex-presido of my country] has some incest probelm. Apparently Uncle Shege’s sleepin wit his son’s wife AND his son’s daughter. Moji [son's wife] has gotten some lucrative contracts cuz of that, wow fuckin 4 contracts – like thats new. Personally sleepin wit OBJ is anoda route 2 killin ur soul a la Flavor Flav.

thats d closest to socially conscious ur gettin from me dis month. Damn u tesco [5ways] 4 rearrangin everythin, I cudn’t find a cold Oasis. Mmm I want a muffin.